From the College Counsellors

It’s a brand new year and we welcome our new Year 7 students and their families to our school community! 

Starting high school can be a daunting experience and may bring with it feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. This is very normal. 

It may be helpful to know that most feelings of anxiety last for only a short time. Anxiety comes from a strong, healthy brain that is a little overprotective. The amygdala – the part of the brain responsible for keeping us safe – will fire up at the first sign of a possible threat. Separation from a loved one, shame, embarrassment, humiliation, unfamiliarity, exclusion, missing out on something important – all count as a ‘possible threat’ to a protective brain. 

Anxiety can inadvertently increase by behaviours that support avoidance of uncomfortable places, people or experiences. Avoidance can take away the opportunity for the amygdala to learn that if we stay with the situation for long enough, the anxiety will ease on its own and we will begin to feel calm again. When we lift our children out of the way of anxiety by supporting their avoidance, we take away the opportunity for them to learn that anxiety is temporary, and will always ease on its own eventually. 

When our children move through fear, they learn that what feels scary, usually isn’t; that they can be anxious and brave at the same time; and that they can do hard things and survive. They can begin to realise they are capable of bigger, braver things. 

Let’s talk about phones  

While it might feel reassuring to you or your daughter to remain in contact throughout the day, this can lead to problems. Students are not permitted to use mobile phones during school hours. If they need to make contact with a parent during the day, they should attend the Student Administration Office to use the College phone or seek permission to use their phone. Parents may also get a message to their daughters via the Student Administration Office. 

Screens, screens and more screens 

When young people begin to have increased independence, it may seem reasonable to allow them to manage their own screen time. Many young people will need increased support with this as they form new friendships and navigate teen life. Adequate sleep will be especially important during high school so it is important to be across your daughter’s time using screens and how it may be affecting her. 

How will my daughter make friends?

Making new friends can feel very daunting and does not come naturally to everyone. It might be helpful to brainstorm together some ideas on how to make new friends and what qualities make a good friend. Remind your daughter of all their wonderful strengths and attributes and provide some gentle encouragement around connecting with like-minded people and those with similar interests. It is not uncommon for students to change their ‘friendship group’ in the first couple years of high school as they learn to build healthy relationships. There will be many occasions throughout the year that will give students the opportunity to form new friendships and make connections with their peers. 

We all have bad days 

The ability to face and adapt to new circumstances is a life skill and builds resilience. Acknowledging the uncomfortable and challenging moments in life can help to normalise having bad days and the ability to show up in the face of a challenge. Share with your daughter some difficult experiences you may have faced and how you overcame them. 

If your daughter needs more support at school or you have any concerns, please get in touch with the House Coordinators, Leader of Wellbeing or College Counsellors directly on 9816 2041. 

This article on College life meets The Archbishop’s Charter for Catholic Schools – Charter #2, #6 & #8