From the College Counsellor

Monica Rogenmoser, College Counsellor

What is emotion coaching?

Emotion Coaching is a communication style used by parents to support their child to regulate and to manage their stress responses. The aim of this style of communication is to show your daughter respect and understanding in moments when she feels misunderstood, upset or frustrated (

Dr John Gottman has conducted numerous studies around emotion coaching and has concluded that the key to good parenting lies in the understanding of the emotional source of problematic behaviour. You might be wondering what does this mean?

By supporting your daughter to master an understanding of emotions, learning to regulate them, you are aiding your daughter’s self-confidence and overall mental health.

At times children can express challenging emotions and behaviours that we can’t understand. Dr Gottman teaches to look beyond the behaviour and try and figure out the cause of their feelings and emotions. Emotion Coaching comprises of these five steps:

  1. Be aware of your daughter’s emotion
  2. Recognise your daughter’s expression of emotion as an opportunity to build on your relationship and teach them a new skill
  3. Show your daughter you are listening and let them know it is OK to feel that way
  4. Show her that you are really listening and acknowledging what she is saying
  5. Help your daughter give the feeling a name
  6. Help your daughter to verbally label the feeling (frustrated, sad, angry)
  7. Set limits while helping your daughter to problem solve
  8. Acknowledge that all feelings are OK, but certain behaviours are not
  9. Set limits on behaviours e.g. “I can see how angry you are with your brother. Its ok to be angry, but it is not ok to hit”
  10. Help your daughter to problem solve e.g., “what are some other ways you can communicate to your brother what you want?”

I encourage you to practice talking to your children about their feelings, and using these 5 steps to create strategies to navigate difficult emotional situations.

Conscious Parenting Program

A program starting soon with the aim to support parents in connecting with their teen, please see below:



Dear Parents of Teens

Are you struggling to connect with your young person or exhausted by challenging behaviours? You are warmly invited to Conscious Parenting for Parents of Teens – a new Monday night series which begins on March 8th at the Stanton Library (Conference Room Level 2) in North Sydney. The cost is $20 per session.

These evenings will look at the deeper truths inside the parenting journey and allow us to get fresh insights, inspiration and support no matter what’s happening at home you can make changes.

  • Parenting as a journey with it’s own unique process unique to every family and relationship.
  • The difference between empowered and disempowered parenting.
  • How your struggle mirrors your teens and what you can do differently that will shift the dynamic.
  • Guest speakers on a range of topics.

Spaces limited to 20 persons due to COVID.     Enrolment confirmed upon receipt of payment:

  • Direct Deposit: $20
  • Wende Jowsey
  • BSB: 032-114
  • Account number: 088414


If you wish to discuss the above or have any concerns about your young person please feel free to contact the College Counsellor, Monica Rogenmoser via or ph: 0435 659 694


Miss Monica Rogenmoser, College Counsellor

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