From the Deputy Principal

From the Deputy Principal

Talking with our children about respect, consent and what they see online

Over the past few weeks, many of us have been unsettled by the volume of media coverage about alleged sexual assaults involving young people. Most recently, the tragic death of a Sydney teenager following a suspected act of sexual choking has brought these issues into even sharper focus.

These stories are confronting. They raise hard questions about consent, relationships, pressure, pornography and the messages young people are receiving about sex. While every case is different, they remind us of something important: our children need trusted adults helping them make sense of what they see online and hear from peers.

As parents and educators, we cannot afford to leave these conversations until adolescence or wait for a problem to arise. The most effective protection is often the simplest: open, honest conversations at home, supported by consistent messages at school.

What we learnt at RespectED

At last year’s RespectED: Navigating Respectful Relationships parent forum, held on Thursday 29 May, our amazing panellists Katrina Marson, Yasmin London, David Kobler and Cass deNardis came back to one clear message: start early. Children learn about consent long before adolescence. They learn it when we teach them that their body belongs to them, that they can say no, that others can say no too, and that respect means listening the first time.

Parents do not need to have all the answers. If your child tells you something difficult, a good first response is, “Thank you for telling me.” Then, “How can I support you?” Calm, curious adults make it much easier for young people to ask for help.

We also spoke about helping young people notice green flags and red flags in relationships. Do they feel safe, respected and supported? Or do they feel anxious, controlled, diminished or afraid? Simple language like this can help them name what is happening before a situation escalates.

Perhaps the strongest reminder from the night was this: do not let the internet become your child’s main teacher about sex and relationships. Your voice does not need to be perfect. It just needs to be present.

Why conversations at home matter

We need to be plain about pornography because many young people will encounter it, whether deliberately or by accident. It is often unrealistic, aggressive and disconnected from care, respect or real intimacy. It is not sex education, but without better conversations, it can become a powerful teacher.

This does not mean one big, awkward talk. It means many small conversations over time: in the car, on a walk, after something in the news, or when a question comes up at an inconvenient moment. We can say, “I’m glad you asked,” and answer honestly, in a way that suits their age and stage.

For younger children, this starts with body autonomy, privacy and the right to say no. For older students, it needs to include consent, pressure, image-sharing, alcohol, online content and the law. We want our young people to understand that consent is active, ongoing and freely given.

We also need to be clear that choking or strangulation is dangerous and can be fatal. It is not made safe because it appears online or is spoken about casually. Young people need adults to give them clear language about risk, boundaries and help-seeking.

How this connects to PDHPE and Wellbeing at MLC School

This work is also part of school learning. In NSW, child protection and respectful relationships education is taught through PDHPE from Kindergarten to Year 10. The updated 7–10 syllabus, to be implemented in 2027, strengthens learning about consent, safety, respectful relationships and online environments.

At MLC School, these messages are reinforced through our K–12 Wellbeing and PDHPE programs in age-appropriate ways. Students learn about boundaries, help-seeking, healthy relationships, online safety and respect. Earlier this year, Kindergarten learnt about body autonomy and in Year 5 PDHPE, we are currently helping students talk about puberty and change with confidence and without shame.

School programs matter, but these lessons are strongest when they are also talked about at home. If there is one takeaway from both the recent headlines and our RespectED parent forum, it is this: start the conversation. You do not need a perfect script. What matters most is that your child knows they can come to you with questions, worries or mistakes and be met with calm, care and support.

Practical resources for parents and carers

These resources may help you begin or continue the conversation at home:

  • Your Choicez parent resources: practical resources from RespectED panellist David Kobler.

  • Yasmin London: resources and commentary on respectful relationships, online safety, AI and digital resilience. 

  • Katrina Marson: resources and writing on relationships and sexuality education. https://katrinamarson.com/

And additional online resources:

– Melissa Boyd
Deputy Principal