BERTY INTOS RISKS IT FOR THE BISCUITS
By Luca S, Year 8
Berty Intos and Herb Pike entered the supermarket at around 10:14 in the morning. They had quite a mission ahead of them. The sliding doors shut behind them as Berty hopped towards the snack isle, Herb trudging benignly behind him. Berty was what most would call ‘distracted’. He was almost never distracted, in fact. He just had amazing focus on all the wrong things. Herb was more on the uptight side, and preferred staying with similar routines for most things. But when your best friend is Berty Intos, you find yourself getting roped into all kinds of adventures.
“Herb, hurry up!” shouted Berty, startling an old man an aisle away. “We don’t have all day!”
“We quite literally do,” muttered Herb under his breath before following Berty, who was heading to his second favourite place on the planet besides the chocolate biscuit factory: the spot in the supermarket that contains the chocolate biscuits from the aforementioned chocolate biscuit factory. Berty had quite the obsession with choccy biscuits, and he had stashes in his pantry and his fridge. And his bedroom. And his laundry. And his dad’s shed. On this particular morning Berty had run out, but his day was about to get a lot worse. There were no chocolate biscuits in stock…
Berty screamed in shock, once again startling the old man, who was still recovering from his first fall an aisle away. “NOOOO! Herb, there’s no choccy biscuits! This is horrible!”
Herb muttered a few comments about immaturity under his breath. Berty’s dark hair was being soaked with mystery supermarket juice while he squirmed on the floor. “What will I do without them?” He cried.
“They’re just biscuits,” said Herb tiredly.
“I’m going to starve!” Berty exclaimed.
“Eat some fruit instead.”
“This is no time for jokes! Can’t you see I’m in pain?” whimpered Berty. Herb put his hand through his spiky blond hair and sighed, before pointing to a pimply worker who had just dropped an orange can, ran over to pick it up, and dropped it again. “We could ask that guy when they’re restocking?” suggested Herb as Berty rolled around on the floor. Once he got into a fit about something he was not going to get out of it. He discreetly picked up an onion and squirted the juice in his eyes to dramatize things and said, “That won’t fix anything! Right now, there’s no choccy biscuits, and—” he stopped and stood up, like a meerkat sensing a predator. “Wait. Do you think they’d have some biscuits in a stock area? Like, behind the shop or something?”
“Well, maybe, but- wait. No.” Herb knew what Berty was thinking, which was surprising because usually not even Berty knew what Berty was thinking. But today he had a plan. In order to avoid waiting for a restock, he would pull a heist to get the biscuits from the employees-only area and escape with his biscuits. It was an idiot-proof plan involving the world’s best idiot.
Berty rushed through the supermarket, Herb trying to stop him in the process. Eventually, they found two mysterious swinging doors between cereals and strange, pear-shaped objects. (The objects were just pears, but calling them strange builds mystery.) The suspense was suspenseful. The tension was tense. It was so thick you could cut it with a knife, but knives were being sold on the other side of the building, and we don’t have that kind of time. Berty rushed in, and at long last spotted the biscuits. He grabbed twenty-six bags (enough to last a day or so) and found his way to the cash register, Herb trying his best to act the babysitter. Berty was more than to happy to pay the $200 fee (with Herb’s money) and kindly allowed his friend to carry all the bags. Berty Intos and Herb Pike exited the supermarket at around 1:27 in the afternoon. They had just experienced quite a mission.