From the Principal

Keeping Perspective During Lockdown – Is Your Family Winning Medals?

Last week, I came across this short address by Teddy Roosevelt. He was speaking about the importance of contributing to community spirit and citizenship in France in 1910, after he had retired from the US Presidency. He was talking about those who get in, roll up their sleeves and act…have a ‘red hot go’…as opposed to those who choose to watch or even criticise from the side. They will never know the satisfaction of trying and the fulfilment of having a go. Here are his famous words:

It is not the critic who counts; not the person who points out how the strong person stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have performed them better. The real credit belongs to the person who is actually in the arena, whose face may be covered by dust and sweat and blood; the person who strives valiantly; who errs, who falls short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; Instead honour to those who actually strive to do the deeds; those who know and feel great enthusiasms, those who follow great devotions or strong convictions; those who spend time for a worthy cause; This type of person at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he/she fails, at least fails while daring greatly, ensuring that his/her place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat”.  

I agree, it’s better to be participating in the ‘arena’ rather than sitting comfortably in the grandstand, but learning nothing.

As the lockdown continues without an end in sight, let’s ensure we keep things in perspective. In these uncertain times where daily challenges arise, it’s helpful to take the temperature on how we are responding. Each week, I see our staff working more creatively and arguably harder to provide engaging online lessons. However, I know the lockdown also means that many families are at home all day, often sharing room space and testing relationships more than ever before! In these unusual circumstances, let’s all try to manage with a healthy sense of perspective.

It was interesting to note that some of our Gold medal-winning Olympian athletes mentioned that it took a ‘village’ to achieve their success…coaches, parents, drivers, physios, mentors, even other competitors. Our Marist ‘village’ is the same…parents, friends, sisters, grandparents, teachers, neighbours, even brothers! These are our support people…our Cedric Dublers. They’re doing a Dubler!

Our Olympic athletes spend years making sure they can ‘peak’ at the right time. Ash Barty knows she cannot be at her peak every day but tries to do so for the big tournaments. For example, the HSC Trials, although important, are simply trials. Year 12 can ‘peak’ later.

I’m reminded of the words of one of my mentors: “In a five-day week, make sure you really smash out three excellent days and let the other two days be average. Hunt those two days down next week”.

This is a bit like the 90/10 rule. During COVID-19 lockdown, it points to having a balanced perspective. If I spend hours getting 90% of the work completed, the other 10% can sleep for a while. I’ll hunt it down next time, because it’s not a good investment of time spending lots more hours for just a few percentage points. In other words, as they say, ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’. Instead, move on to something else or take a stretch break. 

So, while we are in the online learning environment, try playing the 90/10 game. The big pivot to remote learning has been a massive adjustment. All of a sudden, you are Zooming five or six times a day. Then there’s other work. That’s demanding for anyone. So approach it with some balanced perspective. Let’s call it the 9+9 checklist.

Student’s Perspective:

1. If you can get out of bed, shower, breakfast and be in uniform ready for that first class every morning…smile…you’ve got ‘skin in the game’ already!  You’ve got this, girl!
2. If you get through 90% of your classwork, pat yourself on the back (at least twice!).
3. If you can participate in every Zoom with 90% concentration, double fist-pump now!
4. If you can complete 90% of set homework…shout out a Lleyton Hewitt “C’mooooon” so everyone in the house or street can hear! (any time of the night is also OK).
5. If you can make room for an hour’s exercise or two x half hours every day – dance, run, walk, jazzercise, bike-ride, bushwalk, dog walk – schedule a Medal presentation ceremony on Sundays and ask a family member to present you with a Gold, Silver or Bronze medal according to your own assessment. Prepare a short acceptance speech please!
6. If you can do something thoughtful for a family member or neighbour each week – you’ve won a first-class ticket to ride the ‘LIFE TRAIN’. It’s called Satisfaction and Enjoyment. Do a small victory lap in your bedroom! Say nothing about it to anyone else. 
7. If you keep a promise to give yourself 8-9 hours of sleep and eat nutritious healthy foods 90% of the time – tick it off on your wall calendar and take a bow. That’s sensible and disciplined. Congrats, champion! 
8. If you can hit 90% of your weekly goals…ring or text a friend about it and choose a reward. 
9. If you feel you’ve been fairly positive for 90% of the week…do three x big ‘high-fives’ against the nearest wall or with the next person in your home that you see.

Parent’s Perspective:

1. If you notice yourself urging or pressing your daughter to complete everything, take a few deep breaths…90% is enough in these times and 10% is not worth an argument!
2. If your daughter is on time for the first Zoom class of the day, thanks to a bit of ‘encouragement’ or assistance from you…just smile to yourself and pat yourself on the back!
3. If you overhear your daughter participating in Zoom discussions, asking questions or seeking further clarification from teachers…tell her that you are proud of her (after the lesson!).
4. If your daughter gets about 90% of her home jobs done each week…prepare a brief (I said brief) ‘thank you speech’ in her honour at the next family meal (but go easy on the Dad jokes!)
5. If your daughter gives herself 8-9 hours sleep and eats your home-prepared nutritious, healthy meals (plenty of fruit and vegetables) and thanks you for that unexpected fruit smoothie or hot chocolate…allow yourself a quiet fist-pump or two on the side! (Do it in another room).
6. If your daughter is pleasant, well-mannered and respectful to you 90% of the time (maximum one eye-roll a week), just feel very pleased and thank the saints! She is balancing many things and keeping a good sense of perspective. As a parent, you must be doing a few things right! Consider giving her a random hug or kiss out of the blue, tell her that you love her and then move on quickly.
7. If your daughter keeps her side of the bargain 90% of the time, make sure you keep yours!
8. If you hear your daughter screaming out “C’mooooon” at any time, even the middle of the night…don’t rush to her room in a panic. Instead, smile and go back to sleep. She’s fine!
9. If your daughter regularly misses about 10% of her targets above, SAY NOTHING! Walk away and bake some sourdough or chocolate brownies. Don’t sweat the small stuff!

We all need Cedric Dublers in our lives. Those who can be honest with us. Those familiar with our weaknesses and preferences. Those who encourage us. And those who can ask more from us than we think we can ask from ourselves, and who will not shirk from being straightforward.