Thought Leadership – It Takes a Village

This article was supplied by Holly O’Sullivan Williams | Deputy Principal, CHAC

It Takes a Village

We are almost at the end of another academic year. Term 4 is one of those times where I just want to press the pause button and savour the moment of growth that we see in our students. So, as I pause as an educator as well as a parent myself, it is important to remember that education is about more than just mastering something whether it is subject content, a musical instrument, a sporting endeavour and so on. While excelling in the traditional 3Rs – reading, writing, and arithmetic – is one of the main reasons we send our children to school, other reasons why education is important is because it is also a place where our children can take risks, make mistakes, and learn to navigate the ups and downs of life in a supportive environment. 

The Importance of Trying and Failing 

Many parents and teachers feel an instinctive urge to protect their children/students from failure. It’s natural to want to shield them from disappointment, whether it’s missing out on a sports team, not getting a role in the school play, or falling short of an academic award or leadership position. These experiences can indeed hurt, but they are also crucial opportunities for growth. 

Encouraging children to participate in activities they may not excel at (yet) teaches resilience and perseverance. It’s important for them to understand that they don’t have to be perfect to take part in something. The act of trying, regardless of the outcome, is where true learning happens. 

Normalising Imperfection 

We do a disservice to our children/students when we prevent them from engaging in activities because they might fail. For example, if a child/student says, “I don’t want to run the cross country. I’m not good at running,” it might seem compassionate to respond with, “That’s okay, you don’t have to.” However, this approach can limit their development. 

Instead, we must consider saying, “That’s okay that you’re not good at running. Running the cross country isn’t about being the best. It’s about trying something different and being a part of your House. You don’t have to be good at something to participate, and you might even get better if you try.” This kind of encouragement fosters a growth mindset, where effort and learning are valued over innate ability. 

Learning from Disappointment 

Experiencing and overcoming disappointment is just as important as academic success. When our children miss out on opportunities or face setbacks, they learn to cope with their feelings, build resilience, and try again. This process is invaluable and contributes to their overall emotional and psychological development.  

As parents and educators, our role is to support and guide them through these experiences, helping them see failure not as a negative endpoint but as a stepping stone to future success. By normalising failure and emphasising the importance of effort and persistence, we can help our children/students collectively develop the confidence to tackle new challenges and the resilience to bounce back from setbacks. 

Encouragement Over Protection 

What I am asking for is a mutual commitment to encouraging your children/our students, to take risks and try new things, even if they might fail. Let’s celebrate their efforts just as much as their successes and what is more, the courage it takes to step out of their comfort zones. By doing so, we are not only helping them learn essential skills but also teaching them that failure is a natural and valuable part of the learning process. 

Sometimes, I admit that it seems easier if we just give in. Especially when there are tears, even tantrums, or a whole lot of “you don’t understands” being thrown our way. It can be exhausting when we have to say no to a child’s request to have a day off, not participate or tryout for something… The list goes on. 

It takes a Village 

I am not a psychologist or counsellor. These musings stem from my work with professionals including teachers, support staff, parents, grandparents and most importantly, students themselves. In partnership, we can work together to ensure that we are celebrating effort, normalising imperfections and encouraging students to learn from disappointment instead of allowing avoidance as a self-protection mechanism.