P & F Association

Colour Fun Run September 2022

P&F Annual General Meeting  – Save the Date 28 November 2022

Gingerbread House Drive – orders close 30 November 2022

Term 4 is well underway and Christmas is definitely on our radar. Celebrate the start of the Christmas season with a wonderful family activity bringing joy, creativity and merriment. You can build magical gingerbread houses AND help us fundraise at the same time! The  P&F Gingerbread House Kit Drive will earn the College $15.00 for every Gingerbread House Kit you purchase (before November 30) through the link below.

For gingerbread house making joy, head over to Gingerbread Folk (via the below exclusive link) and choose from Original, Gluten free or Chocolate gingerbread kits. Don’t delay – sales close 30 November to ensure delivery in time for Christmas. Here’s the link: https://share.gingerbreadfolk.com.au/6mfW7r

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Year Group Events

Parent Education – Debra Brodowski

Perfectionism. How to support your child to be imperfectly perfect in life

‘It has to be perfect!‘

‘If I can’t do it the first time there’s no point in doing it at all!‘

‘What’s the point in finishing it off, I’m never going to get to perfect?!‘

‘I must…!‘

‘I should…!‘

If any of the above statements sound familiar, the need for perfectionism in your young person may be presenting. Helping your child to learn, grow, achieve their goals is a wonderful journey that parents are able to support and navigate through the stages of growing up. As adults, we have learned that ‘being perfect’, ‘looking perfect’, ‘achieving perfection’ is unrealistic and can lead to a downward spiral of stress and anxiety in striving to reach the pinnacle of ‘being perfect’.

Perfectionism is different from wanting to achieve and being goal oriented in nature. Perfectionism stems from having high unrealistic standards coupled with a fear of being harshly judged, be it by others or even being self judgemental when those standards are not met. Over time, perfectionism can lead to the development of mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.

How do I spot signs of perfectionism in my young person?

Perfectionism can be seen in different ways:

  • Black and white/all or nothing thought processes: ‘It’s not perfect so what’s the point?!’
  • Harsh self-judgement: ‘It’s not perfect and so I’m useless/worthless/nothing/inadequate!’
  • Unrealistically high standards of everyone else: Hearing harsh criticisms of friends/ school/activities because they have ‘fallen short of expectations’
  • Taking excessive amounts of time to get tasks completed because of the finished product needing to be perfect
  • Avoiding tasks where it will be hard to be perfect
  • Being highly sensitive to feedback
  • Being emotional/stressed/reactive when perfectionism has not been obtained.

How can I help support my young person in managing perfectionism?

There is a real opportunity to help create a positive mindset for our young people, rather than reinforcing a perfectionistic mindset. We can do this in a few ways:

  • Focus on the positives: your young person already possesses many wonderful strengths that make them uniquely human. Emphasising, cultivating, celebrating these strengths help build efficacy beliefs in our young people. Efficacy beliefs reinforce to people that if they are met with a challenge, they have the skills, resources, support, and coping abilities to overcome the challenge.
  • Help your young person learn and become aware of what situations arise where perfectionism emerges: are there any particular situations where signs of needing to be perfect emerge? Is it during homework where a piece of work needs to be perfect? Is it learning a new skill and being frustrated that it’s not perfect at the first attempt? Is it trying to look a certain way and never being satisfied?
  • Be accepting and allow mistakes to be made. Efficacy beliefs are developed when challenges are overcome. This means that mistakes are made along the way. Making mistakes, and learning from them, is the best way to learn and build resilience. It helps build our confidence so that we can attempt new things. Mistakes are a part of life. Mistakes help us learn and grow. Mistakes help counter perfectionistic beliefs.
  • Learn how to receive feedback. A fear for perfectionists is that ‘feedback = failure’. Help your young person to create the belief ‘feedback = learning and growth’. Feedback does not mean failure; it shows potential to grow and learn and help one step closer to achieving. Teaching your young person to receive feedback is done through encouragement and support. It is positive in nature and helps our young person understand ‘what can I learn from this situation’, ‘what can I do differently next time’.
  • Help set more reasonable goals. Perfectionists can have BIG goals. Stretch goals are great; they help our young person to learn and grow. However, unrealistic goals can lead to anxiety and depression; they are impossible to achieve and therefore set our young person up for failure. When setting goals, if they seem unrealistic in nature, try reframing and suggesting ‘what is a goal we can look to achieve now? Maybe what you want, we can look at it down the track, however let’s look at what can be achieved now.’

Supporting our young people to identify and shift perfectionistic beliefs can have powerful and positive impacts overall for wellbeing; shifting feelings of anxiety and depression to feelings of confidence, positivity and growth.