The Bento Box Economy
The Surprising Secret to Shore’s Superfluous Superflux of Sushi
H. R. Gluskie
TO MOST, GREENWOOD PLAZA SIMPLY EXISTS, appearing as a mere shopping mall; a place of refuge for local North-Sydney workers on their lunch break, or even the standard location for the awkward Friday afternoon meetup between fellow Shore and Wenona Year 7’s. Unbeknownst, however, is what lies below: a fully-functioning monopoly that runs competition dry in the Plaza, accumulating levels of profit on par with QANTAS’ returns from selling tickets to Greece in the Term II holidays. From what was once a peaceful escape from the bustling city outside, the strike of 12:30 on a Friday marks the start for a horde of boater-wearing businessmen to descend those stairs and enter the Bento Box Economy.
Greenwood, or as they call it on the streets, ‘Greenie’, is home to a modest Japanese sushi eatery named Street Chef. It was upon entering Year 11 when I discovered the legendary tale premised upon these chicken-filled Bento Boxes after being allowed to ‘trot Greenie’ at lunchtimes. Alarmingly soon after, my attention in House Meeting strayed away from a certain deputy looking rather disappointed as a Year 8 crossed to collect his pink card with his shirt untucked, to the type of chicken I was going to stuff myself with right after. The minutes would feel like an eternity as sweat rolled down my forehead, my body itching for the beloved chicken and rice combo, now commonly referred to by the Gymbro’s as ‘Chice’. Boaters and blazers would be pre-prepared for the dash down Blue Street to gain a respectable spot in Street Chef’s line. An unfortunate pedestrian crossing the street on one Friday claims he recorded faster running times than Eric Liddle’s 200 metre sprint.
Whilst Street Chef offers a vast range of bento boxes, the crowd favourite has always been the Chicken Katsu. Just the slightest mumble of these words will cause heads to turn in your direction to be met with eyes of a burning desire for such a delicacy. Only the fastest ten boys in Years 11 and 12 are able to reach this treat before the supply is completely bought out, leaving the Korean Fried Chicken for a contested second-best option. Fear of the rapidly diminishing supply had always been in the backs of students’ minds, but one fateful day, a visionary and infamous Shore entrepreneur, known all around North Sydney as ‘Chick N. Jagger’ arrived at Street Chef in an ungodly fast amount of time with the help of the forbidden ‘teacher-only’ side of Blue Street.
With a pocketful of Daddy’s lunch money, Chick picked 10 out of 10 of the freshly cooked Chicken Katsus, leaving the rest of the line behind him utterly gobsmacked. He collected his Katsu’s with a grin on his face and chest puffed, drawing a gathering of mindless zombies following his tail. Jagger started his auction with extraordinary bidding prices that quickly rose. Instantaneously, word about The Bento Box Economy spread from classroom to locker room, to even the lunchtime Bible Study group, where the bribe was suddenly changed from Dominoes Pizza to Jagger’s Chicken Katsu(unsurprisingly, Bible Study was now deemed ‘a good op’ of spending your lunchtime). Chick has even had to overtake the whole of Eldershaw locker room for adequate space in hoarding his newly acclaimed riches.
A few Fridays ago, I was walking up Blue Street with a Karage in hand when I had the pleasure of bumping into Chick Jagger, mid Katsu-deal with a now-gleeful-looking staff member. Being the keen and budding inspector I am, I asked him about his business and the privileges that came with it, to which he simply replied:
“The Bento Box Economy is the best thing to have happened to Shore since Dr Collier’s arrival. I believe the Chicken Katsu is the secret elixir to the First XV’s success this season, however.”
Chick N. Jagger, 2023
Yet, with Chick’s overwhelming monopolistic competition, recent inflation readings conducted by Blue and White Insight’s Economics: 101 Professor, ‘Textbook’ Tom Ellis, have skyrocketed to an all-time high of 13.75% which is well above his targeted rate of 2-3% (might have to consider raising interest rates, Tom!) This number was so absurdly high, Shore’s Head of Economics, Mr M. Wells, and legendary economist Ross Gittins decided to hold an emergency meeting in the luxurious office space of 8403. Whilst not all of this meeting was productive – as Mr Wells got sidetracked yapping about his beloved Hilux – they concluded that “Inflation will not return to normal until Chick Jagger hangs his boots and goes on to continue school life like the average Shore boy, picking up Business Studies and PDHPE.”
Whilst Chick Jagger’s services only provide happiness and joy to the greater population of Blue Street, his business has spiralled out of control, and we can only hope that an emerging Preppy in the future years won’t follow in the footsteps of his predecessor in revamping the Bento Box Economy.