Coffee vs Energy Drinks
Settling the age-old question once and for all
J. C. Lai
Having been called a crippling caffeine addict by numerous people over my life, I consider myself a seasoned veteran over the matter of caffeinated drinks. Consequently, I cannot see a better way to dedicate my over-reliance than by devoting an entire SWR article, and my prized Sunday evening, on attempting to answer the age-old question: Coffee or Energy Drinks?
In this editorial, I will compare the two beverages in five different criterions and in doing so, come to a conclusion on which is the superior beverage. Please note, the following points are merely my perspective, so please do not get too offended by some of my controversial opinions.
- Affordability
Obviously, how much each drink costs plays a major contributor to its superiority, so a comparison only makes sense. Prices for coffee differ a lot, with prices going as low as $1.50 to as extortionate as $15, depending on the type of coffee you’re getting and the area you’re getting it from. The same goes for energy drinks, with prices different depending on the brand, as well as the quantity you are getting them in (pro-tip: always buy the 4 or 8 packs to save a bit of money). However, when comparing my beloved iced latte in my go to café at Underground Coffee in Greenwood Plaza, to the wing giving Red Bull at IGA, that a staggering $2.50 margin is afforded by the latter, making it the superior affordable beverage. One point to Energy Drinks.
- Health
This criterion easily goes to coffee, no discussion needed. Composed of little to no additives and preservatives, the naturally sourced coffee contains a range of healthy nutrients including vitamins B2 and B5 and is naturally sugar-free. Furthermore, its low-caloric content makes it a very attractive drink for those who are looking to slim down a bit. Contrarily, a look in the ingredients section in the back of an energy drink will reveal a series of indecipherable and dodgy ingredients, followed by a range of unhealthy artificial preservatives and flavourings, as well as a jaw-droppingly high sugar content. Coffee ties it up, 1-1.
- Taste
Now, onto the most controversial of the criterions, Taste. Despite being described as having the taste of “battery-acid” and “unleaded” by some of my energy drink hating mates, personally, energy drinks beat the taste of coffee by a mile. The flavour of coffee is plainly unpleasant and distasteful, and I constantly find myself asking for a packet of sugar or additional milk to offset the bitterness of the drink. On the other hand, energy drinks provide a sweet and delicious taste which resembles happiness and joy every time I get a whiff of it, and the large variety of flavours ensures that it conforms to most people’s preferences. Energy drinks retakes the lead, 2-1.
- Aesthetic
The culture that the two drinks embody are very different. Whilst coffee drinkers are associated with intellectuals, hard-workers, and basically everyone who is happy in the world, energy drinkers are usually associated with someone who sits on their couches all day playing video games (no offence if you do that, I find myself doing that sometimes too). Furthermore, holding a cup of coffee while walking to school or to work, or sitting at a coffee-shop, sipping away while reading a book, is far more fashionable than someone doing the same holding a can of Monster. Therefore, the contest in the aesthetics of the two is not even close. Another point to coffee, bringing it down to the last criteria.
- Functionality
And finally, to the final criteria and the tiebreaker in this historic battle of caffeinated drinks, Functionality. Both drinks adequately do the job of giving a kick of energy through their supplementation of caffeine, which stimulates the body, by increasing activity in the brain and nervous system. However, the caffeine contents differ between the two, with an ounce of coffee containing around 18 mg of caffeine, whilst an ounce of Red Bull containing only 8.5 mg. So you may be wondering, if coffee contains more than double the amount of caffeine that energy drinks have, how do energy drinks keep up with giving the body energy? Well, I’m glad you asked. The answer to this is sugar. The jolt of sugar gives the drinker a quick, energy boost, which keeps up with coffee initially. However, sugar wears off much quicker than caffeine, and once gone, results in a sugar crash, making drinkers fatigued and depleted. Therefore, due to the lack of longevity, coffee is the more functional out of the two, winning the point in functionality and hence the contest.
And there we have it. After the assessment of 5 different criterions, coffee etches out a narrow victory over energy drinks, winning the contest 3-2. Whilst energy drinks beat coffee in affordability and taste, coffee is superior in health, aesthetics, and functionality, making it the better beverage overall.