Principal’s Post on Empowering Young Women

Since 1935, Our Lady of Mercy Catholic College has held a legacy of instilling the values of leadership, excellence and service, nurturing confident young women. We empower our girls to make their make on society with confidence and compassion.

Why Self-Regulation is an Essential Skill | Dr Judith Locke

Judith Locke is a clinical psychologist, former teacher, and author known for her practical advice on parenting and resilience. Her books, The Bonsai Child (2015) and The Bonsai Student (2020), offer insights into raising confident, resilient children and fostering independence in students. Locke’s evidence-based approach emphasises the importance of setting boundaries, encouraging responsibility, and allowing children to face challenges to develop resilience.  In September 2024, Locke released her latest book, co-authored by Dr Danielle Einstein, Raising Anxiety with a focus on understanding and managing anxiety in children. The following excerpt from The Bonsai Student focuses on self-regulation, one of the five essential skills children need to successfully negotiate their school years and beyond.  Self-Regulation Self-regulation is the ability to resist doing something that is immediately pleasant or satisfying for a greater future gain. It’s the ability to delay our gratification. In its simplest form it is turning off the TV to go to bed at a decent hour even though you want to watch another Netflix episode, or organising your lunch the night before when you know you have an early start the following day. It might even be changing the bedlinen before you go on holiday so you have the pleasure of coming home to fresh sheets. In the long term, it is committing to a budget so you are able to afford the deposit on a house, putting in years of study to eventually earn a degree, or doing the hard yards to build your successful business.  Self-regulation is focusing on the future rather than only on the moment. It requires maturity and self-discipline to ignore your immediate preference or mood to prioritise the long-term goals which will give you a better life. Self-regulated people don’t need to be killjoys, but they are typically able to resist momentary hedonism to focus on actions that will help them in the long run.  Bonsai Parenting and Self-Regulation Bonsai parents do two things which block children from developing self-regulation. The first is constantly reminding them of what they need to do. When parents do this, they don’t allow their children to take responsibility for organising themselves. The parent resembles Cogsworth, the clock in Beauty and the Beast, constantly chiming for the child: ‘don’t forget to do your homework’, ‘you need to have a shower now’ or ‘have you got your swimming gear?’ even at ages when the child or teen should remember these things for themself.  Parents say they do this out of concern that their child will get in trouble for not doing their homework or fear their child will be upset when they have to miss their swimming class.

When a parent always reminds their child to do things, the child doesn’t think they ever need to remember – because it’s clearly not their job. 

Constant parental reminders mean the child never learns how to remember. The other problem with regular reminders is that your actions protect them from experiencing the consequence of not planning what they need to do. For example, having to sit out the swimming class might sting enough that the child puts in more effort to remember their swimming gear the next time, or makes sure they check their timetable when they pack their bag. Doing a lunchtime detention on their own while their friends are in the playground is a powerful incentive for a child to get their homework done on time in future.

Parents often feel their reminders are justified because of their fear that the child won’t do well at school and that this will adversely affect their future. But unless they plan to stop their reminders and nagging at some point, they set themselves up to be a permanent alarm clock. These parents will have to remind their adult child to complete their university assignments by the due date, meet the deadlines on their work projects, and pay their credit card on time. Clearly, parents have to step back at some stage, so their children step up for themselves. The later they leave it, the more difficult it will be for their child. 

The second thing bonsai parents do that blocks children’s development of self-regulation is to constantly question them on how they feel about upcoming activities. Now, there is nothing wrong with discussing feelings, but these days many parents tap into their children’s moods too much. Sure, ask your child briefly how they feel about their music exam or starting at a new school, but be aware that the longer your conversations about feelings go on, the more you tap into their moods and not their goals. 

Let’s take going to the gym as an example. For most of us, the only way we ever go to the gym is if we never ask ourselves if we feel like going to the gym. Unless you’ve been truly blessed by the Motivation Fairy, thinking too long about your mood actually works against doing anything that is hard work now towards a long-term goal. To get yourself to do something uncomfortable, you’re better not to even think about what you feel like doing but tap into what the activity will do for you in future – get you fit, help you zip up those jeans again, let you walk upstairs without panting. 

Research suggests that going over and over how we feel before uncomfortable situations serves to amplify our emotions and makes us less likely to effect necessary change in our lives. Sure, we might believe we are truly supportive when we allow loved ones to tell us at length about their feelings about going to school or work on Monday, but letting them dwell too much on their mood without reminding them of the big picture can end by making the feelings more intense. As a result, they dread the activity even more. 

How to Know if Your Child Lacks Self-Regulation

If you constantly have to remind your child to do things, from gentle prompting through to outright nagging, it’s likely they lack self-regulation. Another clear indicator is if they show poor compliance with your instructions or constantly fail to follow household rules. Other signs are:

– They cannot manage their moods. I don’t mean just on occasion, such as that one family photo when they were cranky and refused to smile, but regularly and to the extent that their temperament affects the rest of the family.

– They rapidly escalate and amplify their bad moods. Once they are on the train to Tantrum or Thunder Face, you can rarely head them off at the pass, and it feels like this train leaves the station every hour.

– They need you to sweeten the deal before they will comply with your requests. When you ask them to put back the stuffed toy they demand you buy for them in the department store, they won’t do it until you offer a sweetener like an ice-cream or trip to the park on the way home.

– They tend to blame you for things. It’s your fault they are late because you didn’t get them up on time to get ready, even though you went into their bedroom three times and pleaded with them to get up so everyone wouldn’t be late to work and school.

– They have poor impulse control. When they are doing something pleasurable, such as playing video games, they find it hard to stop or they refuse to stop, which easily escalates into a tantrum or a resentful fit of the sulks.

What to Do If Your Child Lacks Self-Regulation

It is perfectly normal if your young child lacks self-regulation. Children don’t have good skills in delayed gratification in their early years, and adults have to help them develop their self-discipline when children are between three and seven years old. By the time they are seven, your child should be able to do what you say most of the time and their anger or tantrums should not be frequent or endless. You can still help them to develop their self-regulation after the age of seven, but by then it will be much harder for them and for you. 

The first step is to become more of an authority figure in the home. You can do this by giving clear and calm instructions when you ask them to do things. This way you will not disturb their equanimity or give them cause to doubt your confidence in your authority. Predictable routines help too; your child is less likely to challenge you if their routine is the same every day. Set up routines in busy times, such as a bedtime ritual: the family has dinner, your child cleans their teeth, you read a story together and then it’s bedtime, every single night if possible. 

Rules are another form of routine where your child understands what is expected of them. Effective rules have predictable and unchanging consequences for poor choices, such as Time Out if they are young, or Chore Sets if they are older. (Both of these are explained fully in The Bonsai Child.) Consistency is the key: the more consistent you are, the easier it becomes for them to see that your response is always the same and that it always works out better for them to do what is expected of them, even though they may not feel like doing it at that moment. 

Over time, give your child fewer reminders of what they need to do. Let them know you are ceasing to be the alarm clock, and they need to step up and remember things themselves. Let them know that when you do this, they will bear the brunt of any failure to be organised and you will not step in and fix things for them at the last minute or get them out of a school consequence. 

When your child reports uncomfortable feelings about upcoming events, discuss the situation briefly, acknowledge how they feel, and normalise their apprehension by telling them it’s natural to feel nervous before doing something new. Also remind them of the benefits of taking on the challenge and not dwelling on their difficult emotions for too long. Better still, have your child tap into the reasons why meeting the challenge will be helpful for them and how their confidence will grow when they complete the activity and realise they can cope, regardless of how they felt beforehand or how well they performed the task in the end.

Dean of School – Paul Hughes

At the end of Term 3 OLM and DLS Caringbah embarked on our first joint cultural immersion tour. Please find below a recount from a number of the attending students.

Europe Trip report

First stop Paris …

After a 30-hour travel marathon we landed in Paris at 2 pm, feeling completely zombified, but we pushed on instead of heading to bed. 

The first stop on our European journey was the Arc de Triomphe. A 400-step trek up a steep spiral staircase, the view was amazing, with the entire city visible. Then, the Eiffel Tower sparkled at night while we tried to take cute photos, despite smelling like aeroplanes, craving a long hot shower and a good night’s sleep. 

Day two was Disneyland, where the entire day was spent hopping between rides, screaming on roller coasters, walking through the Disney castle, draining bank accounts and surviving on mouse-shaped food that seemed to cost a fortune. Definitely a highlight, even with the wet weather. The night show was epic and the perfect way to end the day, only the thrill seekers amongst us enjoyed the stampede to the Metro that night. 

Day three was all about exploring Paris’s artistic side. The day began with a visit to Napoleon’s Museum and his enormous tomb, grand enough to make even the short guy feel tall. After that, Montmartre was the next stop, with its winding streets and bohemian charm. Getting lost in art galleries, quirky little shops, and taking in the stunning views from Sacré-Cœur was unforgettable. The food was absolutely incredible, with each bite a masterpiece, especially the pastries. If only climbing those hills could burn off all the croissants.

The final day was spent at the Louvre, where more time was spent searching for the Mona Lisa than actually looking at it. The entire building was stunning and massive, impossible to explore fully in just one day. Later, we climbed the Eiffel Tower, and after 700 steps, we were rewarded with an amazing panoramic view of all of Paris. Finally, a cruise along the Seine provided a moment to relax for the first time during the trip, offering a different view of all the amazing sights visited, despite the less-than-appealing look of the river itself.

Paris was an amazing yet exhausting adventure, and everyone was so grateful for all the incredible sights and experiences packed into just four days.

Next stop Germany……

After an early flight from Paris to Berlin, we instantly began to explore the history of Germany and the city. The three days we spent in Berlin were educational, interesting, and most of all, sad. As we uncovered sites such as the Berlin Story Bunker which recounted the rise and fall of Hitler and the Third Reich, the Topography of Terrors, the remains of the Berlin Wall, and the Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp Memorial & Museum, we were all overcome with sadness over the horrors that had occurred in these locations. However, travelling to these places gave us a greater understanding of the history of Nazi Germany and life in the Soviet Union. That being said, Berlin also offered fun with malls, chocolate stores, and interactive museums where we were able to drive (and crash) a Moskvitch car. Overall, the city of Berlin offered many experiences that will remain with us forever. 

Next Stop Italy ……

On our first day, we arrived in Naples, experiencing the city’s vibrant atmosphere. Wandering through the crowded streets, we enjoyed delicious pizza and cannoli before visiting The National Archeological museum, which saw us view many artworks, paintings and sculptures. 

Following Naples, we took a scenic bus ride to Sorrento, on the Amalfi Coast, where we dined on pasta and tiramisu, topped off by a delightful ice cream, complimentary from our tour guide ‘Lucky’. Our visit to the ancient site of Herculaneum showcased stunning murals, including one of Poseidon almost fully intact. After lunch, we enjoyed shopping and an absolutely amazing recommendation for sandwiches. 

After a long day of food and fun, we returned to the hotel for a multi-course dinner, which proved a challenge after everything we already ate that day. 

The next day began with breakfast before a three-hour bus journey back to Rome, where we stayed at a nunnery. Our explorations included the Capuchin Museum, where we saw the crypt, followed by a visit to the Trevi Fountain where the group threw coins for good luck. We then toured Vatican City and climbed the dome, experiencing its narrow, twisting staircase.

On our final day, we explored the Colosseum and surrounding ruins before enjoying more time to explore the neighbouring town where we enjoyed pesto pasta for lunch. Overall, this trip has been an unforgettable experience filled with culture and culinary delights.

We thank the staff both from OLM and DLS for accompanying us and Lucky, our amazing tour guide from Libertas. 

Paul Hughes, Dean of School

Leader of Learning – Integrated Curriculum, Pedagogy and Assessment – Lisa Romberg

PAT Testing

PAT Testing (Years 7-10) and RE testing (Years 8 & 10) took place in Term 4, Week 1 with catch up exams being currently run. Thank you to students and parents who engaged positively in these tests so that we can use the data to review and inform our teaching, student learning and class formation. 

What is PAT Testing?

PAT testing is an assessment tool that measures students’ level of achievement. Like NAPLAN it is a point in time assessment that is mapped to the Australian Curriculum. Students and parents are reminded that it is ONE piece of the puzzle.

PAT has been developed to:

• provide evidence to support teaching and learning
• measure growth in learning
• emphasise that all students can demonstrate progress.

How does OLM Catholic College Burraneer use PAT testing?

PAT results are used to:

• help review and inform teaching programs
• assess each students learning growth
• support College and other data such as NAPLAN data which is used to place students in the most appropriate classes for the following school year.  

Term 4 Assessments

Study Skills

Aligning Your Goals To Your Values

What are values?

How Parents can support their daughters  during stressful Assessment times

As assessment periods approach, students often face increased pressure, which can lead to significant stress. While some handle it with ease, others may find it overwhelming. One of the best ways to manage this pressure is through preparation. The earlier students start, the less likely they are to feel anxious as deadlines loom. As a parent, your role is crucial in helping them manage stress and maintain a balanced approach to studying. Here are some practical tips to support your student during this busy time.

1. Encourage a Healthy Lifestyle. 

A well-rounded lifestyle is key to achieving good results. Remind your student that a healthy body supports a healthy mind. 

Ensure they:

• Eat balanced meals: Provide nutritious snacks and meals to fuel their brain power.  
• Stay hydrated: Drinking plenty of water can help them stay alert and focused.  
• Get enough sleep: Sleep is vital to memory consolidation and overall performance. 
• Encourage them to avoid sacrificing rest for late-night study sessions.  
• Exercise regularly: Even a short walk or some stretching can relieve stress and help students focus better.  
• Schedule relaxation: Encourage downtime to avoid burnout. Short breaks can recharge their mind and improve retention of information. 

2. Offer Practical Support.Openly ask your student how you can help. 

Offer to:  

• Assist with organising their study schedule, setting reminders, or preparing an exam timetable.  
• Help source materials such as books, stationery, or online resources.  
• Quiz them on topics they need to memorise. Some students find it easier to retain information by talking through their notes or practising with a parent.  
• Prepare nutritious lunches and snacks, allowing them to focus on studying without distractions.  
• Encourage limited use of social media or gaming during study blocks to reduce distractions. 

3. Focus on Effort, Not Just Results. It’s important to reassure your student that effort matters just as much (sometimes if not more) than results. Encourage them to:

• Take pride in the hard work they’re putting in, regardless of the final grade.  
• Build resilience by learning from mistakes and overcoming challenges.  
• Celebrate small successes along the way, fostering motivation and confidence. 
• Avoid criticism.  Remind them that academic performance is only one part of their life’s journey. There are many ways to achieve future success, and exams are just one stepping stone and one pathway.  

4. Keep Communication Open.Be a consistent source of support by maintaining open lines of communication. Try:  

• Having regular check-ins to discuss their progress, challenges, or concerns.  
• Creating a relaxed environment for these conversations—sometimes casual chats during car rides or while having dinner are more effective than formal sit-downs.  
• Being patient if they express frustration or anger. Acknowledge their feelings and offer a listening ear. If you notice that stress is affecting their well-being, encourage them to seek help from a school counsellor, teacher, or other professional resources. 

5. Help Manage Worries and Stress.If your student feels overwhelmed, guide them and:  

• Allow them to express their concerns fully before suggesting solutions.  
• Encourage them to identify specific worries and work through ways to manage them—whether it’s time management, understanding a subject, or handling test anxiety.  
• Explore available resources, such as speaking with teachers, seeking academic support, or accessing online tutorials.  
• Ask them how you can help—sometimes your presence and understanding are the most valuable support you can provide. 

You can learn more about this at www.studyskillshandbook.com.au 

Our school’s subscription details to this online study skills and well-being website for high school students are – 

Miss Romberg
Leader of Learning: Integrated Curriculum, Pedagogy, Assessment

Instructional Leader – Co-Curricular – Danielle Polson

Interested in becoming a future green and gold athlete?

The Australian Sports Commission is  looking for Australians aged 13+ who are keen to put their sporting skills to the ultimate test and is holding a talent search, with a goal to find hidden sporting talent across the country.

For more information please see the link below

https://www.ausport.gov.au/talent?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR2qaNgAan3zvOvl3ADf_1KiOS3daP_mCvrl3TgEiS-4Io2jvxADYBg0wFg_aem_UZtzlvOhAJBkVufRVszspQ

NSW All Schools Athletics

Congratulations to the following students who represented OLM at the NSW All Schools Athletics Championships. Congratulations on your exceptional results.

Allegra (pictured above) has now been selected in the NSW All Schools Athletics Team to represent NSW at the Australian All Schools Championships held in Queensland in December.

SCS 5 Week Basketball Program for Years 4-9

This is a reminder that the closing date for the nominations and registrations for the Sydney Catholic Schools 5 week Basketball program for students from your school and surrounding schools in years 4 – 9  is fast approaching.

In order to avoid missing out please ensure that nominations are submitted before the closing date of  Friday 8 November 2024

Danielle Polson, Instructional Leader Co-Curricular