Principal’s Post on Empowering Young Women
Since 1935, Our Lady of Mercy Catholic College has held a legacy of instilling the values of leadership, excellence and service, nurturing confident young women. We empower our girls to make their make on society with confidence and compassion.
Building Self Esteem away from Screens
Martine Oglethorpe is a speaker, counsellor and educator with a passion for building resilient children in a digital world. Article taken from parentingideas.com.au
| In today’s digital age, our children’s sense of self is increasingly shaped by their online interactions and the feedback they receive through social media. As educators and parents, it’s vital we help them build resilience and self-worth that isn’t dependent on likes, comments, or followers. This article explores practical ways parents can support young people in developing a strong, balanced identity, both online and offline. |
As so much of a young person’s social world revolves around their online feeds and connections, it is no wonder that ‘likes’ and comments have become a social currency and a reflection of where young people see themselves amongst their peers. Whilst social media has the ability to ignite a flourishing self-esteem with glowing comments, hundreds of likes and thousands of followers, it can also have a negative impact. A lack of likes, followers or comments, or even just a small number of nasty or negative comments, can do irreparable damage to a struggling self-esteem.
In addition, because many of the social networks children are using centre around the sharing of visuals, this can lead to an over representation of aesthetics as the yardstick of popularity. Instagram and Snapchat are some of the popular networks now and all are based on photos, video and performance. Which is all well and good if you have a good sense of who you are and are not relying on the feedback from these networks to decide your worth. But for many, putting themselves out there can mean they open themselves up to judgement and even ridicule.
And even if they get hundreds of likes or lots of lovely comments, it is often the one nasty one they remember the most. We need children to know they are worth more than their likes and followers. We need them to know their sense of self is not based on what others, and even strangers, may think of them. But how do we do that in a world that sees children so attached to their screens and their online social connections? Well, like all things in parenting today, there is no one simple solution. However there are certainly ways we can help ensure that a sense of self worth is based on the achievements, the values and the qualities that make each and every child unique.
Build their independence and resilience early
From a very early age, provide them with opportunities to build their independence, have responsibilities, learn to fail, make mistakes and problem solve when things don’t go to plan. These skills will become invaluable in a world that sees constant comparison and the inevitable negative interactions of the online world.
Stay relevant
Don’t resort to the “in my day we…”. We may well reminisce about the more carefree days where we got to switch off and hangout with friends in the neighbourhood oblivious to what the rest of the world thought of our latest picture. But that’s not particularly relevant to our children today. And shutting down their account, turning off their computer and walking away from social media altogether is really not an option for most. Be sure your children know that you understand the role the technology plays and the challenges they face. That way you put yourself in the best position to have the right conversations and put in place the right boundaries.
Provide other role models and community
Getting involved in outside pursuits and interests away from the screens can help them form connections with other parts of the community. Coaches, youth leaders and other role models can all play a part in mentoring a child about the importance of balance whilst reminding them that there is a life beyond the screens.
Give them opportunities to help
There is no better way to feel better about oneself than to feel useful. Helping at home, helping in the community and volunteering can be great ways for children to build self-worth away from the screens. It may be helping coach some children at the local sports club or getting involved in a cause or issue that matters to them. This will give them a sense of purpose that revolves around their actions and their input and not just what others perceive about them.
Family rituals
Regular meals and time where no devices are present can be crucial to providing the stability and security young people need. Mealtimes have been proven to be an effective way of letting children know they always have a place that is familiar, secure and unconditional. This may not be a reality for every family every night, but trying to incorporate any sense of ritual into a family, especially one where screens are not involved, will certainly provide a positive impact. We know that technology and devices are going to continue to play a huge role in the social and emotional lives of our children. Therefore we need to ensure that we are doing all we can to give them a balanced, true and positive view of themselves that continues to flourish both in real life and online.