From the Deputy Head of Junior School – Wellbeing

The Importance of Connections

Connecting with others is a basic human need. It is the foundation of feeling positive.

Whether these connections are with our families, friends, work colleagues, neighbours or others in our communities, they can all contribute to our happiness and resilience. So taking action to build, maintain and strengthen our relationships is important.

Having close relationships with family or friends provides love, meaning, support and can increase our feelings of self-worth. Our broader social networks, like those at school or work, can contribute to a sense of belonging. There are many studies that show people with strong relationships are happier, healthier and may even live longer. Having social connections or high levels of social support even appears to increase our immunity to infection, lower our risk of heart disease and reduce mental decline as we get older.

Our close relationships generally matter most for our happiness. Whether these are with family or friends, having people that we trust, can rely on and who help us to feel valued, encouraged or loved positively boosts our wellbeing and resilience. As well as boosting how happy we feel, it can also mean we are less prone to illnesses and recover more quickly.

Our relationships with others are of course two-way and it seems the connection between happiness and relationships is too. Not only do good relationships contribute to happiness, but also happy people tend to have more and better-quality relationships. Positive emotions and behaviours have also been shown to be catching, affecting those around us. So working on our relationships is good for happiness and working on our happiness is good for our relationships. That’s a win all round!

Whether you are naturally introverted or extroverted, feeling connected to others improves our wellbeing. Humans are a social beings and our brain is hardwired for connection. Think about how good it feels to be loved and cared for.

So what can you do at home to build your and your child’s connections within your family?

A great place to start is simply giving our full attention to someone and really listening. Focussing on them and what they are communicating, rather than having half an eye on our devices or thinking about what we think and want to say. When you’ve listened, perhaps ask a few curious questions to show you are interested and to help you understand more about what’s going on for them. Often we have the tendency to give our opinion, share a time that we have experienced the same thing or try to solve the problem. But sometimes the best response you can give is silence – the space to allow what the person is communicating to really sink in. To truly make that connection.

Spending time talking at the dinner table and sharing each other’s day, highlights and challenges, is another way of connecting. When possible, try times when everyone in the family has some responsibility for preparing dinner and then the rest of the family can complement the lovely meal. Expectations of contributing to the family, through helping or chores, can be of benefit to that sense of belonging to the family group.

Having experiences together also builds connections. Visiting places, such as the zoo, going on holidays, watching movies, playing in the park, and generally having fun together all build our relationships.

Connections with anyone in our lives can become stronger. If we are mindful and proactive we can ensure that ourselves and our relationships thrive – the benefit goes both ways.

– Joanne Sharpe
Deputy Head of Junior School – Wellbeing